I break things.

I have never broken a bone. But I make up for it in breaking other things. Hearts, keyboards, glass angels that are special, best friend necklaces, my mom's laptop, and even people.

I broke my keyboard and that's why I haven't posted in over a month. Nothing has even happened. I was in a math contest, I got a gold medal. I'm good at math, I'm good at school. I could be a straight A student, I almost am, kind of. I don't apply myself, at least that's why my second grade teacher told my mom. They say I'm too lost in my own world, too interested in what's going on inside of my head. They're slightly stupid. In my head, is a swirl of plans and words, thoughts and decisions, reasoning and arguements, but mostly memories. The memories play in my head like a film projected on a white wall, with a few scratches and cliff hanger endings. I try to make sense of the words that somehow make their way through my arms to the keyboards and notebooks, that really belong to the school. I belong to the school, for the most part. That bothers me. I'm rambling. That bothers you.

This is what my head is like, kind of. It's really hard explaining your thoughts. They make more sense in my head. That's usually where I keep them, expect for when Emilee's there to listen. (and I guess, you?)

I'm getting to the point, don't worry.

I cry, and I yell.

I always come up with the perfect things to say when I'm listening to my iPod, right after school, waiting for the bus. But computers and keyboards, pens and paper, they intimidate me.

I'm speachless right now, and I should be telling you great stuff about how you saved me, and all that jazz.

I decided, I won't set a deadline.
I won't say "tomorrow" but, within this blog, somewhere, I'll make your reading this worth it.

I Lie Too

I don't mean to, I just do. Like how I said I'd post tomorrow, I will. But I'm posting again tonight. Because....BLINK EXISTS. :) I can't believe they got back together. But, this feels like a Brett Farve thing.

I'm Always Late

I was going to start this on January 1st. I forgot the password.
There's the first things you should know about me, I'm always late, and I forget all of the important things. I'll remember your favorite color or what car you drive, but I'll forget your name or that I promised to meet you at the mall at 3:00.

But, reagurdless, I'm starting now. Or rather, tomorrow, because I'm ending this blog here.

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

And I suppose, that just explains it all, doesn't it? Kind of? A bit.

But what really makes this blog so important, is the fact that it has a purpose. I'm not 100% sure what it is yet though. But I am sure who it is for.

Christpoher Jacob Bundrick, this one's for you.

Jake, I could never explain how much you have saved me. I bet this is weird for you. You don't even know me, yet you saved my life. You didn't even try. I hope I can explain why you are so important to me, for the most part. Even though, I never was a very good writer or explainer. But here's my attempt, and I hope you like it.

- Ciara Joy Badertscher

I dip my pen in the blackest ink, because I'm not afraid of falling into my inkpot. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson